Surrender

Hey, guys!

It's been so long since I've posted. I've been insanely busy, but also spiritually somewhat dry. I'd love to tell you all about what God has been doing in my life, but honestly, I haven't been giving him the time to do it, lately. I know that God has the power to do anything he likes, with or without my consent. But will he? That's what my post is about today. So many times in my life, I feel overwhelmed. Out of control. Anxious, fearful, stress-ridden, lost. All I want is for someone else to step in and run my life for me so I don't have to worry about it anymore. Have you ever felt that way? I'll bet that most of us have. In fact, lately, I've been feeling that way more often than not. What my heart really wants is for God to break down my walls and barriers, tear apart my life, and TAKE control away from me so that I don't have to fight to hold onto it anymore. I don't want to worry about RELEASING the areas of my life I know I'm keeping sequestered from my Father, I just want him to grab them from me. But is that really the way God works? From what I've learned about my Father, he is loving. Patient. Kind. Protective. He WANTS control of our lives even more than I want him to have it. So why doesn't he just take it? I think the reason that God often sits back and lets us wrestle with our problems is somewhat similar to the reason we have free will. If we were forced to obey God's commandments, our lives wouldn't reflect a love for him. We wouldn't be loving, devoted children - we'd be slaves (and the Bible specifically says we're NOT slaves, but that we're free in Christ!). God allows us to make decisions because he loves us, and he wants us to choose HIM. When we don't, it breaks his heart. But he waits, ever so patiently, and lets us discover how much we need him on our own. That way, when we do finally realize how wonderful life could be if we chose God's way, we are filled with awe and love and wonder at his Grace! The same can be said for releasing control of our lives to God. God doesn't want to just take control away from us. He wants us to love him and TRUST him enough to let it go voluntarily. I'll be the first to say that this is difficult. My anxiety and OCD make it hard for me to relinquish control of ANYTHING, never mind my life and my future. It would be so much easier if God would just wrench control away from me! But I think that, more often than not, he would rather just wait for us to realize how much we need him and how much better his plans are than ours. That way, when we finally do surrender, we can be filled with love for our father and awe at his mercy and grace. In Matthew, Jesus compares himself to a mother hen, who wants nothing more than to gather her chicks under her wings. But do you know what the most amazing part is? Jesus isn't exactly like a mother hen. You know those women people describe as mother hens? A little dominant, impatient, but very loving and task oriented and protective? That would be me. Mother hens (real or human) don't wait around for their chicks to come snuggle under their wings. They run around like wild, scooping them up and shoving them under without hesitating or asking for permission. Sometimes, Jesus does this in our lives. Sometimes, he bursts in and scoops us up before we even realize what's going on. But the way Jesus describes himself in this passage in Matthew is as a mother hen who LONGS to gather her chicks, but doesn't because THEY AREN'T WILLING. Woah. This God who is all powerful, all knowing, all mighty, and all loving, WAITS for us to be willing. That tells me that not only does God have crazy, radical love for us - he wants us to have crazy, radical, trusting love for him in return. Surrendering control of our lives to Him shows that we trust (or are at least willing to trust) in His plans for us. He waits for us with open arms until we are ready to surrender to him. What a patient, forgiving father.