Bouncing Off The Walls

Have you ever done something really silly? For example, have you ever had a panic attack about where your sunglasses were when the whole time they were perched stylishly atop your head? I have. A particularly embarrassing one has to do with a very tired Devon panicking about losing her phone. My dear boyfriend had to gently remind me that I was, indeed, talking to him. On the phone. Sadly, yes. Humans can be silly. We have two types of attention (according to my new psychology professor): "selective" and "automatic". Automatic refers to things that take little to no attention, such as riding a bike or speaking your native language. You don't really have to think too terribly hard or pay special attention to these things. Selective attention refers to things that require our purposeful, watchful attention. Sometimes, I think I spend the majority of my life in a state of automatic. I'm not really paying all that much attention to the things around me. I just run around like a chicken with my head cut off, bouncing off of walls that others can clearly see and I cannot. I'm just not paying attention. It's so much easier to just let myself move through life mindlessly! Well, that's gotta change. And God, knowing me and being Himself, decided to alter my view in a rather touching and comical way.

The past few months (well, the past year, really) I've been praying for a best friend. More than a best friend, really...an accountability partner. A life partner! Someone to do life with who can be a supporter, a friend, and a sister. Someone who will share my beliefs and push me forward in my faith. I have experienced that kind of friendship before and it is such a blessing. As I'm transitioning into my new life here at college, I've been praying that God will bring a new friend/mentor/ into my life. Here's where the lack of attention comes in. I already have one. Do you ever get the sense that while you were praying for something or about something, God was jumping up and down in front of you, waving the answer in your face? Well, in my case, God was wildly gesticulating at my mom. My mother is an amazing woman. Over the past 18 years of my life, she has been my food supply, my bed tuck-er in-er, my discipline, my comfort, my mentor, my friend. She has watched me grow, and honestly, grown along with me. She knows me better than anyone in the world and she understands me, too (which, I must say, is a feat). She loves me unconditionally, regardless of how many hissy fits I throw and how tempted she is to just smack me (or how many times she actually does smack me). She is the best example of a best friend I could possibly offer f you. So why on earth was I praying for something I ALREADY HAVE? Because I'm a silly human who too often finds herself running on automatic and forgets to pay attention.

I think God likes to teach. He's a teacher. Heck, he's THE Teacher. Tonight, he taught me two things: one, that I need to pick up my head and pay attention to the world around me a little more often, and two, that I am incredibly and wonderfully blessed.

P.S., new favorite song. "The Center" by Matthew West. Go check it.