The Voice of Truth

Hey, everyone!

It's finals week! Hence, I don't have a whole lot of spare thought for eloquent writing. But the main thing that's been on my mind today is the concept of Satan being a huge, jerk, liar, and God's voice being the only real truth! Also, I've been chewing on the importance of actually setting aside time to LISTEN for God's voice. The things that others say about us (or to us) aren't necessarily truth. Things that people say that are hurtful and mean spirited are, I think, often Satan's way of wreaking havoc and destruction in our hearts and lives. This is one of my favorite songs, and really, it always has been. It seems silly that it took until today for it to really sink in that God's voice is the only one that I have any business paying attention to. I encourage you to read the words and let it sink in that God loves you and speaks only truth into your life. Listen. We cannot expect to hear God if we're walking around listening to the voices around us and not giving time to listen to His as well.

"If I don't take time to listen to God, I WON'T HEAR GOD." -- Jacob Norwood

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
You you'll never win."

But the voice of Truth tells me a different story
the voice of Truth says "Do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "This is for MY glory."
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of Truth.

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
to stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone.
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
wishing they'd have had the strength to stand.

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me,
reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed.
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of Truth tells me a different story
the voice of Truth says "Do not be afraid!"
and the Voice of truth says "This is for MY glory".
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of Truth.

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down.
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the Voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of Truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of Truth says "This is for my glory".
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of Truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the Voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the voice of Truth
And I will listen to you...Oh, you are the voice of Truth.

Relationships: Two Halves of a Whole or Two Wholes with One Heart?

Hey everyone!
I can't believe it's December. I also can't believe I went the entire month of November without posting on this blog! I usually post after I've had a really good "Jesus time". And the fact that I haven't posted worries me. But anyway. This week, the thing that's been on my mind quite a bit is relationships. Here at Baylor, I'm surrounded by wonderful guys. And lots of cute couples. And it makes me wonder if I'm going to find a guy (the guy) here or not. But aside from my own relationship queries, here's a theory that I have, that I'm going to share with you. I actually never really thought about this until I read the book "Godchicks and the Men They Love" (amazing book, by the way, you should read it!) But one of the points that the authors (a wonderful married couple) make in the book is that so often, our society views people as "incomplete" until we're in a relationship, or until we find our "other half". How messed up is that?! The Bible does not say that on the 6th day, God created half a man! He created each of us as individuals, whole and complete in Him! So why do we have this idea that we need an "other half"? I'm not sure. But this is the way I think we should view relationships: a relationship. A partnership. A relationship (marriage or a serious romantic relationship) is between two, whole, complete people. Those people don't have to be perfectly rounded, of course. There can (and should be) strengths and weaknesses that are complimented by your spouse/partner/whatever. But in all, a relationship should be a complimentary partnership between two whole people, not "two halves of a whole". So rather than looking for someone who "completes us" and makes us into a whole being, we should find our own identity in Christ and then let God bring us a person who compliments us in our wholeness.

Considering this post was written over the course of two days, it's probably a little scattered. But there it is!

Who am I? I'm a daughter of the King.

"Nothing is so common-place as the wish to be remarkable." -- William Shakespeare


Who am I? What am I all about? I am supposed to write this blog for my History 1305 class..there is no formal prompt, no official assignment. The concept? Write about yourself and your story. Who are you? Where did you come from? How did you get here? I tend to feel that telling my story would be terribly boring for others to read. I am one person, one eighteen year old girl. I haven't made a major contribution to science. I didn't find the cure for cancer. I haven't ever saved anyone from a burning building. I don't have superpowers. I've never had a near death experience (though with how clumsy I am, it seems that every staircase could be one). I've never done anything particularly remarkable. I've never even been out of the country!But do you know what IS remarkable about me? I am a daughter of Christ. According to the book of Ephesians, I was chosen by my father before I was ever born to be His. Why, is beyond my understanding. But what has that fact to do with WHO I am? Everything! Everything I am and everything I do is colored by the fact that I was created by, for, and in the image of Christ. My Father sees the value in me, even when I can't. He loves my loud laugh, talkative personality, and tendency to never hold back..even when I (or others) don't. He created me exactly the way that I am, and that, despite what I or others may think, makes me special. The talents and gifts that He has given me are things that I can use to make a difference in this world. And THAT is what's truly remarkable. I am going to make a difference in this world. Make a difference? In the WHOLE WORLD? Yes. It would be so easy for me to go about living my life with nothing more on my mind than achieving a fabulous career, a good husband, wonderful kids, and some recognition for being a "good Christian". But that's not what I've been called to do. I was called to make a difference!

Do you know how big the world is? It's huge. I wanted to post some big, impressive number to show the world population, but given its probably changed about 1700 times since I started typing, I can't. There are so many people, so many cultures, so many lives that need Jesus. How is a 17 year old girl from Texas supposed to make any sort of impact in a world that big? It worries me. Ever since I was six years old, I've known that Jesus was my Savior. I've been taught the stories, examined the theology, studied the issues and learned to express and argue my beliefs. But what do you do when you meet someone who asks if "Jesus comes down and talks" during church, or asks what a "tith" is (meaning tithe). The idea of overcoming all of the misconceptions of just that one person (an American teenager, raised by a man who grew up Methodist) is baffling enough. What about the rest of the world who hasn't ever heard the message of the Gospels? It's an overwhelming thought. Maybe, like me, you've wondered how on earth little old you is supposed to save all those people. Well, here's my two cents.

For the past 3 years, God has really been growing me and showing me the plans He has for me: I need to make an impact. When I first realized that changing lives and showing people the love of God was my passion, I was completely terrified. How was I supposed to do that? People might reject me, reject my beliefs. Their arguments against the Bible might be stronger than mine for it! Fear took over. But then I remembered that I am not a savior. I'm a farmer. Never in the Bible does it say that Christians are to go out saving people and forgiving their sins. We are told to "go and make disciples", "spread the word" and "teach and instruct". Nothing in there about saving. Sure, in an indirect way, we are. But its more like throwing a drowning man a life-jacket than singlehandedly pulling him out of the water by your own strength. All we're called to do is spread the word, plant the seeds, and let God handle the heart-changing.

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life:
To KNOW and FOLLOW HARD after you.

I believe that if every Christian followed the words of the song I just quoted, that the world would be impacted in a huge way. I've heard it said that Christians who are really and fully in love with Jesus can't help but be a witness. The way we act, dress, think, and speak simply becomes our witness. People see our lives and, through that, see the love of Christ. I tend to think that if you really see God doing things in your life, you wouldn't be able to help talking about it. Maybe you're not shouting from the rooftops or blasting through a megaphone, but I know that at least for me, when God does something in my life, I want to tell someone! And BAM! Right there: an opportunity to witness. So you see? We don't have to save. All we have to do is LOVE JESUS and share his love with others. We can let God do the rest. Our mission, or rather, our charge, is not to save people. Its to plant seeds.

Comforting, isn't it? To realize that you're incapable of saving someone. It doesn't seem like realizing your own helplessness would be comforting, but in light of the awesome God we serve, it is. I am not asked to save people. I'm not capable of saving myself from my impending Spanish test, never mind saving someone else from eternal separation from God! But God is MORE than capable. So all we really need to do is LOVE GOD. Follow after Him. Learn about Him, follow in His footsteps, and allow His light to shine through our words and, often more importantly, our actions. In that way, we become living witnesses to the love and saving grace of Christ - and that's exactly what we were told to do. THAT is how we make a difference. THAT is how I'm going to make a difference.

We don't have to be saviors - we just have to be farmers. And I think even I can handle that.

Bouncing Off The Walls

Have you ever done something really silly? For example, have you ever had a panic attack about where your sunglasses were when the whole time they were perched stylishly atop your head? I have. A particularly embarrassing one has to do with a very tired Devon panicking about losing her phone. My dear boyfriend had to gently remind me that I was, indeed, talking to him. On the phone. Sadly, yes. Humans can be silly. We have two types of attention (according to my new psychology professor): "selective" and "automatic". Automatic refers to things that take little to no attention, such as riding a bike or speaking your native language. You don't really have to think too terribly hard or pay special attention to these things. Selective attention refers to things that require our purposeful, watchful attention. Sometimes, I think I spend the majority of my life in a state of automatic. I'm not really paying all that much attention to the things around me. I just run around like a chicken with my head cut off, bouncing off of walls that others can clearly see and I cannot. I'm just not paying attention. It's so much easier to just let myself move through life mindlessly! Well, that's gotta change. And God, knowing me and being Himself, decided to alter my view in a rather touching and comical way.

The past few months (well, the past year, really) I've been praying for a best friend. More than a best friend, really...an accountability partner. A life partner! Someone to do life with who can be a supporter, a friend, and a sister. Someone who will share my beliefs and push me forward in my faith. I have experienced that kind of friendship before and it is such a blessing. As I'm transitioning into my new life here at college, I've been praying that God will bring a new friend/mentor/ into my life. Here's where the lack of attention comes in. I already have one. Do you ever get the sense that while you were praying for something or about something, God was jumping up and down in front of you, waving the answer in your face? Well, in my case, God was wildly gesticulating at my mom. My mother is an amazing woman. Over the past 18 years of my life, she has been my food supply, my bed tuck-er in-er, my discipline, my comfort, my mentor, my friend. She has watched me grow, and honestly, grown along with me. She knows me better than anyone in the world and she understands me, too (which, I must say, is a feat). She loves me unconditionally, regardless of how many hissy fits I throw and how tempted she is to just smack me (or how many times she actually does smack me). She is the best example of a best friend I could possibly offer f you. So why on earth was I praying for something I ALREADY HAVE? Because I'm a silly human who too often finds herself running on automatic and forgets to pay attention.

I think God likes to teach. He's a teacher. Heck, he's THE Teacher. Tonight, he taught me two things: one, that I need to pick up my head and pay attention to the world around me a little more often, and two, that I am incredibly and wonderfully blessed.

P.S., new favorite song. "The Center" by Matthew West. Go check it.

The Journey vs. The Quest: Worlds Collide

What is a journey? What is a quest? Is there a difference between the two? These are questions that many do not pause to ponder, but that can significantly alter the feel and meaning of a story. In my opinion, there is a huge difference between the two, and it is one that should be recognized, particularly because of its relativity to modern life. I would say that a “quest” is a mission: one sets out with a specific purpose. A quest is a time of hardship and challenge that is taken on with a particular end goal in mind. Epic heroes are often portrayed as taking quests: Frodo’s quest to destroy the Ring of Power, Harry’s quest to overcome Lord Voldemort, Jack Sparrow’s quest for immortality, etc. Journeys, however, are longer lasting periods of movement. I would say that often, journeys are filled with quests. We set out on a path (a journey) often not really even knowing exactly where we’ll end up, and are molded, changed, and grown by the hardships and challenges (quests) that we encounter. Essentially, life often becomes a journey full of quests. Without those quests, life can become nothing more than a meaningless trip through time.

This is an interesting concept, especially to those of us who call ourselves Christians. In our fast-paced, modernized society, we often tend to see life as a series of quests, rather than as a journey. We lose sight of the big picture and focus primarily on our goals. Set a goal, achieve it, set a new one. We are so very success oriented that we forget to surrender control to our Heavenly Father. In this sense, we must be careful that we do not become too wrapped up in our worldly quests for good grades, a steady job, and the “ideal mate”. Rather than realizing that our lives are essentially given to us through the grace of our Father and allowing Him to guide us and shape us through the journey He has planned for us (“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord,”) we focus on ourselves and our “life plans”. We, as Christians, must remember that our own human, worldly goals are not the “big picture”. Why, though? What is wrong with having goals and focusing on them? Nothing, of course. But the problem is this: we have been given a greater goal, a higher calling, a more important quest. Matthew 28:19-20 is one of the most commonly quoted and memorized verses of the Bible, near and dear to all who call themselves followers of Christ. It says, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in^a]">[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you…” This verse is often referred to as “the great commission”. This passage gives purpose to Christians. It gives us a task, a quest, which we are to take up while journeying through life. This passage gives us a way to live life aside from the modern process of repetitive, mechanical goal-conquering. Though we will have human, worldly goals to achieve and quests to undertake, this passage gives us an eternal quest, one that should become our primary focus. In this sense, it almost seems that the two worlds of a Christian collide: our eternal, spiritual quest often battles with our physical, human quests for the place of importance in our lives. As Christians, though, we are called to find the balance and to focus on the task set before us by our Father. A good summary of this view is given in the benediction my pastor offers every Sunday, “Consider your very lives worth nothing if only you may finish the race and complete the task the Lord has given to you: the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”

One example of a man in literature who seemed to have mastered this art of focusing on his eternal quest rather than his worldly ones is the Paul of the New Testament. In fact, the part of scripture that my pastor’s benediction is taken from is a letter from Paul to a church he had previously witnessed to. Paul, a man who was once a persecutor of Christians, had his life radically changed by God and began a new quest - the quest that was later given to all Christians in the book of Matthew – sharing the gospel with the nations of the world. Paul’s journey through life was a difficult one; he was faced with hardship after hardship, quest after quest. He was cast out from numerous cities, put in jail, and stoned almost to death. Regardless, Paul kept his focus on his eternal goal of sharing the gospel. He allowed God to take him through worldly hardships and “quests”, and many times even thanked God for the hardships he encountered on his journey, saying that they furthered him in his eternal goal. Paul was able to journey through life while keeping his eternal goal or quest in mind.

So how do we balance this concept of journey versus quest? We realize that there is a difference between the world that we live in and the world that we are of. Our journey is of this world; like Paul, we move through human lives and experience human hardships and successes that change and mold and teach us. Our quest, however, is of a more eternal type. We are given the task of witnessing to the everlasting truth that has been revealed to us and of keeping our focus on the world we were made for, rather than the world we were made in.

Humility

Humility is an interesting thing, isn't it? According to the ever-useful www.dictionary.com, the synonyms for "humility" are "lowliness, meekness, submissiveness", and the one listed antonym is...you guessed it, "pride". Humility - the act of being humble. Realizing our own lowliness, being submissive to others, remembering that the universe does not revolve around whether or not we get our way. My BU1000 group discussed the topic of humility this week and I had a thought that I, of course, being the thinker, found interesting. Get this. God gave us the challenge to humble ourselves countless times throughout the Bible. One of my favorite verses, in fact, is 1 Peter 5:6-7, "Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." Now, God knows everything, right? And God knows that we are not perfect. He made us as imperfect people! So he knows we're going to fail at being perfectly humble. In my opinion, aside from that one exceptional man who lived 2000 years ago, perfect humility is impossible; even in thinking you've finally got it, you've messed it up. So why would God assign us this impossible task? Well, I don't know. To bring glory to himself and his perfection? Probably. But here's what's cool. God didn't just hand us this massive task and say, "Here, now, get to it. As far as you know, no one's mastered it over the past 2000 years so you might want to get crackalackin.'' No! God gave us help! And you know what the help was? The command. He gave us the command to be humble, knowing all along that we would fail. In failing, however, and realizing we've got to ask forgiveness and start over, we come at least a little closer to perfect humility. Will anyone ever get it? No. But we at least become closer to the people God wants us to be and even develop an appreciation for the perfection of Jesus! Isn't that crazy?! God worked it all out for us. Just because He's God and that's what He does, he gave us a huge task, watched our jaws drop and faces pale, and then winked and threw us the floaty-rafty-thing you use to save drowning people.

You know, I think that can really be applied to anything. Any situation, any problem, any command. God never gives us something we can't handle, and he never gives us something to handle that has no purpose. College, stress, emotional upheaval--these things all have purpose and also help available.

Good news, man. Good news.

Making a Difference

Do you know how big the world is? It's huge. I wanted to post some big, impressive number to show the world population, but given its probably changed about 1700 times since I started typing, I can't. There are so many people, so many cultures, so many lives that need Jesus. How is a 17 year old girl from Texas supposed to make any sort of impact in a world that big? It worries me. Ever since I was six years old, I've known that Jesus was my Savior. I've been taught the stories, examined the theoology, studied the issues and learned to express and argue my beliefs. But what do you do when you meet someone who asks if "Jesus comes down and talks" during church? The idea of overcoming all of the misconceptions of just that one person (an American teenager, raised by a man who grew up Methodist) is baffling enough. What about the rest of the world who hasn't ever heard the message of the Gospels? It's an overwhelming thought. Maybe, like me, you've wondered how on earth little old you is supposed to save all those people. Well, here's my two cents.

For the past 3 years, God has really been growing me and showing me the plans He has for me: I need to make an impact. When I first realized that changing lives and showing people the love of God was my passion, I was completely terrified. How was I supposed to do that? People might reject me, reject my beliefs. Their arguments against the Bible might be stronger than mine for it! Fear took over. But then I remembered that I am not a savior. I'm a farmer. Never in the Bible does it say that Christians are to go out saving people and forgiving their sins. We are told to "go and make disciples", "spread the word" and "teach and instruct". Nothing in there about saving. Sure, in an indirect way, we are. But its more like throwing a drowning man a life-jacket than singlehandedly pulling him out of the water by your own strength. All we're called to do is spread the word, plant the seeds, and let God handle the heart-changing.

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life:
To KNOW and FOLLOW HARD after you.

I believe that if every Christian followed the words of the song I just quoted (amazing song, btw, look it up) that the world would be impacted in a huge way. I've heard it said that Christians who are really and fully in love with Jesus can't help but be a witness. The way we act, dress, think, and speak simply becomes our witness. People see our lives and, through that, see the love of Christ. I tend to think that if you really see God doing things in your life, you wouldn't be able to help talking about it. Maybe you're not shouting from the rooftops or blasting through a megaphone, but I know that at least for me, when God does something in my life, I want to tell someone! And BAM! Right there: an opportunity to witness. So you see? We don't have to save. All we have to do is LOVE JESUS and share his love with others. We can let God do the rest. Our mission, or rather, our charge, is not to save people. Its to plant seeds.

Comforting, isn't it? To realize that you're incapable of saving someone. It doesn't seem like realizing your own helplessness would be comforting, but in light of the awesome God we serve, it is. We aren't asked to save people. We aren't even capable of saving people! But God is. So all we really need to do is LOVE GOD. Follow after Him. Learn about Him, follow in His footsteps, and allow His light to shine through our words and, often more importantly, our actions. In that way, we become living witnesses to the love and saving grace of Christ - and that's exactly what we were told to do.

We don't have to be saviors - we just have to be farmers. And I think even I can handle that.

Embracing the Rebelution

Alex and Brett Harris, twin brothers from Oregon, wrote a book - Do Hard Things. This book is all about a new concept that is revelutionizing the way teens think today, a concept that Alex and Brett have aptly dubbed "the Rebelution". This book is all about teenagers rebelling against the low standards that society has set for them. So many people think that adolescence is a time to goof off, to have fun, and to be stupid before "real life" kicks in at age twentysomething. The Rebelution is all about how to change your thinking and embrace the potential that God has for you! Believe it or not, "teenagers" are never mentioned in the Bible. Paul writes that when he was a child, he spoke and thought like a child, and when he was a man, he left behind childhood and was a man. He does NOT say that when he was a child, he spoke and thought like a child, and when he was a teenager he was dumb, then he was a man. The Rebelution is basically about embracing the concept of doing hard things - striving for excellence in a world that expects so little. Realizing that "excellence" is different for different people - being "good enough" just isn't good enough! Alex and Brett have really hit on something I think is important in our society today. Teens have so much potential that just stays untapped because no one expects anything of us! I encourage everyone to go out and buy this book. If you can't, ask me for my copy and you can borrow it. Either way, read it! It's phenomenal and it'll radically change the way you see your teenage years. Wake up! These are precious years full of opportunity and capabilities that you will never have again. Use them!

Do Hard Things - Alex and Brett Harris

Oh. And as motivation to read the book, the foreward is by Chuck Norris. Yes, THE Chuck Norris.

www.therebelution.com

Make some Jesus time!

I'm sick.

My head is stuffed up, I can't breathe through my nose, and I'm feeling completely dizzy and a little doped up. But regardless, I'm going to type this because its important. For the past 11 years of my life, I have been a Christian. Jesus has been my support system, my Lord, and my absolute healer. But it really wasn't until the summer after sophomore year that He took complete control of my life. Or, rather, that I LET him take complete control. It took a heartwrenching end to a relationship and a long period of grief and confusion, but I came out so much better for it. Surrendering that relationship to God was the best decision I ever made, and I'm so glad that I did. Now. For a while after that summer, I was totally and completely enveloped in reading my Bible. Over time, however, that discipline (and it really is a discipline) began to slip. I was still active in worship and church, prayer, and Bible study. But actually finding (or really, making) the time to spend time on my own in the Word was difficult. This year, however, I rededicated myself to reading my Bible from cover to cover. Well, I actually started with the New Testament, but still. You get the idea. And I CANNOT tell you what a difference it has made in my life. I started with the Gospels, and had a great time reading through them! Though there are a lot of the same, or similar, parables in each one, the books are each written from a different perspective and the psychologist in me loved picking them apart to see the differences. I've now moved on to Acts and I am falling more and more in love with Paul. On a random side note, you know who else I love? Peter. Peter is such a mess. He is completely in love with Jesus, and yet he always seems to be screwing something up. That's how I feel a lot of the time, and it is so encouraging to see that the Lord still holds Peter as one of his own dear children. I love it! Love it love it love it. Anyway, I just want to encourage you all to really make the time to spend in the Word. Though prayer and group study is a great thing, I promise you that you will become infinitely closer to the Father by spending even a little time reading His Word each day. The Bible really is a letter from our Father to us. I love that by reading it, I get to see and understand more of my Father's heart toward me. The more I read, the more I want to read. To be honest, though, if I take a break or skip a few days, I'll more than likely end up skipping more like a few weeks. It really can be discipline to set aside time. As a senior in like, 6.34 trillion after school activities, I guarantee I understand how busy life can get. But please, please, please! Make some Jesus time. You'll be glad you did.

"My love is not my own. It all belongs to you, and after all you've done the least that I can do is live my life, in every part, only to please my Father's heart." - Rachael Lampa

Temporary Home

Life = drama.

Simply stated, of course. Life has ups and downs and, being a teenage girl, I often feel like its just the end of the world. Its not. It never is. But when that boy doesn't talk to me or when everything seems to be going wrong, I feel like I'm just about to die. Lately, though, God has been putting on my heart just how TEMPORARY my situation here is. Carrie Underwood recently released a song called "Temporary Home" that talks about how this world is just a temporary home, a resting place for us while we wait for Heaven. Victor Irwin, a family friend, is always saying, "Life is a preparation for eternity". I'm going to post that again so the full impact hits you. "Life is a preparation for eternity."How true. One lifetime seems like such a long time to me, and I guess I never realized before that 85 years is nothing compared to eternity. E-ter-ni-ty. Woah. Makes my problems seem pretty small sometimes. Which makes me feel guilty for letting myself sit around and sulk about silly teenage dramas. But it also gives me so much hope! The idea of spending eternity with Christ is so intoxicating to me. I'm so excited. But at the same time, it scares me. And I've come to realize lately, that the fact that I'm scared of death probably means that I'm putting too much stock in this worldly life. THIS place, this home, this life, is not what I'm supposed to be focused on. Jesus has prepared a room for me in my Father's house! And yet I'm more concerned about finding love, purpose, and success here on earth. Those things are important, sure. But they're not why I'm here. I'm here to take advantage of the few precious years I have to spread the word of God and love people like Jesus loves me. I guess its all about the mindset; am I more focused on this life, or on the eternal life that's waiting for me?

As a reference, here's the song I was talking about earlier. It really is wonderful.

Carrie Underwood -- Temporary Home

Little boy, 6 years old
A little too used to bein' alone
Another new mom and dad, another school
Another house that'll never be home
When people ask him how he likes this place
He looks up and says with a smile upon his face
"This is my temporary home
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through
This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this is my
Temporary Home."
Young mom on her own
She needs a little help got nowhere to go
She's lookin' for a job, lookin' for a way out
Because a half-way house will never be a home
At night she whispers to her baby girl
Someday we'll find a place here in this world
"This is our temporary home
It's not where we belong
Windows and rooms that we're passin' through
This is just a stop, on the way to where we're going
I'm not afraid because
I know this is our Temporary Home."

Old man, hospital bed
The room is filled with people he loves
And he whispers don't cry for me
I'll see you all someday
He looks up and says "I can see God's face."
This is my temporary home,
It's not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through
This was just a stop, on the way
To where I'm going
I'm not afraid because I know this was
My temporary home."

This is our temporary home.

Exhaustion.

48 hours of being, 6 hours of sleep. My dearest, darlingest baby kitten, Arlie Faye, has leukemia and will probably either die on her own or have to be put down in the next week or so. For those of you who know me, I'm a bleeding heart when it comes to animals. This is ripping me apart. In addition, I've managed to pull or strain some muscle in my leg (again) and dance is not pleasant right now. Which sucks, seeing as its competition season. The guy I'm crazy for is avoiding me at the moment, as he will continue to do, perhaps indefinitely. Which also sucks. And spiritually, I'm...bone dry. I feel as though I've completely lost touch with my Daddy God, and I'm doubting everything I believe. Talk about spiritual warfare. Needless to say, its been a rough week. Its Monday, but I didn't have school today. So tomorrow is (essentially) Monday. And we all know how awful Mondays can be. I'm tired, stressed, worrie sick, and downright frustrated with life. But. God is good. No matter how much I'm struggling with my faith right now, I HAVE to believe that.

There is a verse in Matthew that my English teacher shared with my class. She shared it in the Message version, and it really encouraged me and gave me so much peace. Here it is in both the NIV and the Message forms:

NIV:
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

MESSAGE:
28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."


Wow. That first part (tired, worn out, burned out) is exactly what I'm feeling right now. I love how God knows me. Every time I have one of my little burn out/panic/frustration/anxiety attacks, He just reminds me of this verse. His burden is light. He doesn't want to load me up with more than I can handle, he wants to show me how to truly live. Such a relief. There's also a song by Tenth Avenue North (definitely one of my favorite bands, btw) that I love called Love is Here. Its so beautiful, and, in my opinion, corresponds really well with this verse. I hope these lyrics are as encouraging to you as they are to me!

Love is Here -- Tenth Avenue North

Come to the waters, you who thirst and you'll thirst no more.
Come to the father, you who work and you'll work no more.
And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed:

Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from
His hands, from his brows.
Love is near, it satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
Cuz love is here.

Come to the treasure, you who search and you'll search no more.
Come to the lover you who want and you'll want no more, no.
And all you who labor in vain and to the broken and shamed,Yeah:

Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from his hands, from his brows.
Love is near, it satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
Yeah

And to the bruised and fallen,
Captives, bound, and broken hearted.
He is the lord
He is the lord,
Yeah
By his stripes he's paid our ransom
From his wounds we drink salvation
He is the lord
He is the lord

Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from his hands, from his brows.
Love is near,
It satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.

Love is here.

Relationship Status: Holding out for THE relationship

Lately, relationships have been on my mind. A lot. It seems that everywhere I turn, I see one sickeningly happy couple after another. Its these times when my relationship status of single becomes blatantly unpleasant. I want someone to love me, to do sweet things for me, to tell me I'm beautiful! Then it occurs to me: these relationships I'm seeing? They're sweet and innocent and wonderful. But they're high school relationships that will, in all brutal honesty, probably go no where. I don't want that. So what do I want? I want the right relationship.

In Song of Songs, the author paints a beautiful picture of a young couple who is in love. Some people see this passage as an example of God's love to us, while others see it as an example of the kind of relationship that God wants FOR us. Reading this book (its very short, after all) reminds me of what God has for me. So many relationships are based on convenience, attraction, or even sex. These relationships are not what God wants for us. God is so romantic! In His Word, He talks about how, in marriage, the man and woman become one flesh. In Song of Songs, the lover and the beloved are helplessly devoted to each other AND to having a righteous relationship that God would approve of. THAT is what I want. I don't just want A relationship, I want THE relationship. I want to save my heart for the man God is preparing for me. Sometimes I doubt that there will ever even be such a guy. I won't pretend I never struggle with keeping my heart for God only. But God knows my heart, and He knows what a romantic I am. He will provide.

As hard as it is for me to see my ex wrapped around his new girlfriend, or my best friend perfectly in love with her wonderful boyfriend, I have to remind myself that God will bring me the right man at the right time. Someone who will appreciate me. Someone patient enough to put up with all of my randomness. Someone who will love God first and then me. Someone who will pursue God and, in the process, find me. This is what I'm praying for. I have a cross-shaped purity ring that I wear on my wedding ring finger (the fourth finger of my left hand). This ring reminds me of the man that God is preparing for me and that, until the ring of the right guy takes its place on that finger, my heart belongs to Christ. It is hard. Very hard. I won't deny that there are guys I have had feelings for, even loved. I'm a teenage girl, for crying out loud! But I have to remember, as do we all, that God will come through for us! Take heart, fellow hormone-riddled teens! All is well.

I encourage you to join me in a new...mission. Starting today, I am going to begin to pray daily for my future husband. Every day I will pray for him (though I do not know who he is) and pray that God works in his heart and blesses him.


On a side note, I feel somewhat like Snow White. "Some day my prince will come..fa la la.." :)

I'm out. Time to go dance at the basketball game. Go Panthers!

Devon

Today, I am tired.

I wanted to post something expressive and intellectual that would fully encompass everything I've been thinking and feeling today. But, at the moment, I'm having a hard time keeping my thoughts coherent. And I have a headache. But the one point I did want to get across today was that I have just realized that I am really selfish. Today, I've been thinking a lot about all the time I spend thinking about myself (like now, for instance) and its just ridiculous. There is just so much out there in the world. So much to learn, to see, to do. And I spend all my time curled up on my couch reading books and posting blogs about myself. It seems idiotic to me. And lazy, honestly. Getting off my comfy couch and out into the world takes effort for an introvert like myself. I'd rather just stay home. But I've got to get over that! I want to be well versed in..well, everything! I want to travel and read and meet people and help others and make a difference! The world is so big, and I want to see it all. I'm so focused on keeping on my little scheduled track that I feel like I'm going to miss out on the rest of the world! I guess I'm just feeling overwhelmed. The world seems so big and I feel so..small. I'm just one little girl in this HUGE universe. My problems really can't be as significant as I make them. I'm sorry if this seems random (who am I apologizing to? no one reads this blog. :] ) but I'm tired and frustrated. My thoughts are jumbled up worse than the little number balls in a bingo machine. Anyway, that's what is on my mind today.

The end.

Let The Waters Rise

Hey guys.

So the past few months have been really rough for me. Honestly, I completely forgot I even made this blog this summer. Now that I've rediscovered it, however, I fully intend to use it every day. As for today, it's 11:30 PM in chilly, chilly Texas, and I'm tired. But before I pass out for the evening, I wanted to share this song with you. Its called "Let The Waters Rise". KLTY has been playing it a lot lately, and I've absolutely fallen in love with it. It summarizes everything that's been going on in my crazy, mixed up, hormone riddled life lately, and I love it.

Let The Waters Rise - Mikeschair

Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?
Sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I will swim in the deep
'Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach
God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto You

I just love this. With the anxiety/trichotillomania I struggle with, I am constanty feeling overwhelmed. God is so patient with me. He is forever reminding me to just trust Him. I love Exodus 14:14 (isn't it cool how God knows how awful I am with numbers, and it just so happens that all my favorite verses are easy to remember? Habakkuk 2:3, 1 Peter 5:6-7, Exodus 14:14, etc.?!?!) which says, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." *Deep breath*. Okay, God. This is in your hands. Everything we struggle with as little humans, God cares about. The stupid boys who make me so frustrated, the snooty girls and their ultra-skinny bodies that just make me so..ashamed. The frustrations I feel with my own inadequacies, the pressures from others to be the kind of girl society says I should be. The hopelessness I feel when I think about relationships and love, the lonliness of nights when my best friend and I are fighting. The ache in my muscles from dance, the impatience I feel when people walk too slowly in the hallways. ALL OF IT! God cares. Really, truly cares, about the minutia in my life. So wonderful.

Anyways, that's my semi-coherent rant for the evening. Rest well, friends!


Devon